Thursday, May 27, 2010

Hazards of the NICU

So, I've been on my own for a while now at work. No one to report to, no one coming behind me and making sure I'm doing everything. Which in a sense has been a welcoming breath of fresh air. After six months you reach the point where you either know it or you don't and they just have to let you take off your swimmies and you're either going to sink or swim in this job. So far, so good - I must say in the metaphorical sense, that I am a fairly good swimmer - sure every now and again I start to sink a little bit and forget to come up for air, but then I quickly remember and doggy paddle my little heart out to make up for it, and all is right in the infant world again. Well last night was my first real 'oh shenanigans' moment - I use shenanigans merely as a censored word because there's really no other way to describe the sinking feeling that comes over you when something unplanned happens to your patient who happens to be a 32 week old preemie. Everything in you drops, and all you think is 'oh shenanigans' and you stop thinking, you just start doing. Now the way I've described this so far you must be thinking what did she do - drop a baby!? No, I didn't. As a disclaimer, the baby is fine, I've been calling to check on her all day. If you have a weak stomach, just scroll over and avoid the picture....

This is a peripheral intravenous (PIV) infiltrate - we use PIV's to give TPN (nutrition), blood, antibiotics, and a number of other things. My little patient was getting TPN and lipids through her PIV - both of which are caustic to surrounding tissue when the IV for whatever reason is no longer in the vein. And the following can happen - 

My baby's IV infiltrated. At 6am. It happens, as often as you check the site it just happens. Lucky for me, I caught it (later then I would have liked) and stopped the fluids, got the nurse practitioner, gave a few injections of hydase (it helps the body absorb medications), got another IV, restarted fluids, all with the help of a really good roommate (couldn't have done it without her, she actually did more than me while I just tried to keep it together praying please don't let them fire me, please don't let them fire me), and all the while with the charge nurse, both nurse managers, the nurse educator, nurse practitioner, the fellow, and respiratory therapist at the bedside. Nothing like an audience when all hell breaks loose at the end of your shift. Good times my friends, good times. I then finished my shift, gave report, and went and had a nice little chat with my nurse manager and nurse educator. Even better times my friends, even better. It was a good chat, they reassured me that I am a doing a fabulous job and that I am a great nurse, and lo and behold this does happen to everyone (nurses that is) and it could've been and has been so much worse in other instances. It didn't do much to make me feel any better, and I just cried and cried, and they knew there wasn't a whole lot they could do to make me feel any better, and I knew they couldn't do a whole lot to make me feel any better. So with a supportive we're here for you and you can only grow and get better from this experience - I left work to come home and crash. I called tonight, and luckily it is looking much better and the baby is fine and the parents are fine. Sadly I personally can't always be perfect and I'm pretty sure that I will never forget this experience and as much as I shudder at the "you can only grow and get better from this experience", it's true, and I can only move forward and hope to be that much better of a nurse in the future and hope and pray that it doesn't happen again - anytime soon anyway. And it's nothing that a nice couple of days off and some retail therapy can't cure!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010


I am headed to Chicago this weekend - the windy city. I've never been to Chicago. I'm pretty excited. I am going for my friends wedding. I say my friend, because that is what I call her. She is my friend! We have known each other for a very long time - way way back to the good ol' days at valastics gymnastics. 

Try to find us.

She was a much much better gymnast than I, but that's okay I still liked her, and we're still friends despite this. 

We cheered together in high school


Did many a photo shoot, because I mean look at us - obviously America's next top model..

Road tripped to Island's of Adventure our freshman year of college - I'm pretty sure that my dad has no idea I went. I mean it could've been worse... we're so rebellious two wild and crazy kids sneaking down to Orlando to ride roller coasters and find our inner Thing 1 and Thing 2 - watch out America!

Baked many a Christmas cookie... Ate many a Christmas cookie....
And obviously watched Dr. Phil and Oprah

Gone to some sweet shindigs together

And I was lucky enough to have her by my side when I married my other "friend" because I mean that's really all the hubs and I are. "Just friends"...

I now get to stand next to her as she gets married to her boy!

We've been through new relationships, break ups, middle school, high school, college, cheerleading, all nighters, failed tests, passed tests, chem 2 lab reports, caffeine overloads (I blame my addiction on her!!), nursing school, first jobs, and now marriages!! 
Friend - we're waiting to add babies to this list... k? great. Love you!

PS - can we talk about Glee AGAIN this week?? Ahh I love it!! and it is appropriate in this post because Brittany is the one that introduced to this show. I watched the season pilot at her house and I was hooked. Okay so this week I missed Sue Sylvester, she wasn't around very much. BUT the duet between Mr. Shu and Neil Patrick Harris was AMAZING!! Dream on! And Idina Menzel (from Wicked!!) and Rachel Berry's I Dreamed a Dream...Susan Boyle who? And Artie's Dream a little dream of me... broke my heart! The cast of this show is ridiculous! I don't know how many times I can say it! Have I convinced you to start watching yet? 

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Butta is betta

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. I got in on the right side this morning, and then just woke up in a nasty mood. Maybe I was mad during a dream I had? I don't remember. Does this only happen to me? I just woke up angry. This didn't stop me though, I was going to bake. Maybe that would help?

I found a recipe for baked french toast on PW's website. I love french toast, and it was relatively easy, and not something that I could really screw up. I started with some bread. Fresh from the bakery... cause I'm good, but I'm not I make my own bread good.

It is pronounced "hallah" not "CHallah" for all my uncultured friends out there. And I only call you out, because I did the same thing, I ordered CHallah bread french toast and almost got laughed out of New York. It's a cruel world we live in y'all, I just want you to be informed.

You tear the bread into bite size pieces into a 9 x 13in pan. Then you will need eggs, sugar, milk, vanilla, and cream. I feel like a real cook, I've never used heavy whipping cream before, and I think that it makes me sound all official when I tell you that I used whipping cream. I used my hand mixer to mix these together, because I couldn't find a whisk to save my life. 500 people at our wedding and I can't find a whisk. I apologize if you're reading this and thinking to yourself, I bought you a whisk, you should have one. I will apologize AGAIN by saying I either took it back (because the hubs made me!!!) or I've lost it. Both are possible reasons I don't have a whisk. I also have a kitchenaid mixer - but it intimidates me and causes me to tremble in the corner like the cooking coward I am. I think it looks right through me, and it points and it laughs. It is a kitchen appliance snob. But I will prevail, because I love it. I have recipes aplenty for this mixer, as soon as I work myself up to the challenge. ANYWHO this is about baked french toast. Once you tear the bread into bite sized pieces like this... 

You mix the eggs (there are 8 of the them, so if this dish ain't one thing, its chocked full of protein!), milk, cream, vanilla and sugar. Then you pour this mixture over the bread - 

I hope that you're kitchen garbage smells better than ours... Once you've drenched the bread - you need to refrigerate it. PW says over night is best, but I don't have that kind of patience, so if you're like me you can finish a creepy Lifetime movie and then go see a movie! Remember I was in a horrible, terrible, no good, bad mood. Well  I thought that going to see Letters to Juliet, a certified chick flick and guaranteed ticket to a better mood would make me a happier person. I even went to Barnes and Noble before and had plans for Target after - sure fire way to a better mood! NOT...  

I found a new book at B&N - The Heart of the Matter by Emily Griffin - I'm pretty excited, I like all the other books that she's written - Something Borrowed, Something Blue, Baby Proof, and Love the One You're With. This helped. I then went to the movies... Between the man sitting next to me breathing so hard I thought he was the big bad wolf, and I was praying he didn't blow the theater down and the teeny boppers giggling, and sh'ing behind me - I was ready to get up and leave and come back another day.  The movie was good and delivered in all it's chick flick glory-ness, but I definitely would have enjoyed it so much more had I gone on a week day at 1pm... when no one else was there... maybe I should just stick to netflix. 

I came home and finished my baked french toast. For the topping you need brown sugar, flour, cinnamon, a stick of butter, and chopped nuts if you like the sort. I do. So I used them. 

It will look like this, and then bake at 350 for an hour-ish. 

It comes out like this - smelling oh so delicious, and if your garbage does stink, this really helps mask that smell! I added a little powdered sugar because who doesn't like powdered sugar on their french toast. I then cut a piece and added some syrup. YUM YUM! I never said that this was healthy french toast. I run to eat!! And this was worth it! And it even helped my mood, for a little while anyway...

I promise to post the full recipe, or you can get it at PW's website, but I am tired right now, and am hoping to come out on the other side in the morning/afternoon... thinking happy thoughts!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Runners High

I am such an imposter... I just started running and I'm still not even to the point where I actually like it. So I'm not sure if I'm technically allowed to have a runners high or if its only for people who run run, and run run a lot, not just run sometimes like me. BUT today I did! I felt so good. I usually go around 11pm - yeah I know - but y'all try to remember that 11pm to me is 11am to the rest of the world and I am totally off schedule. Anywho, I head downstairs to the gym, thinking about how much I didn't want to be going for a run, much less be out of my PJs. But I'm on my way to Chicago next weekend, where I'm in a wedding, where I need to not look like the girl that skipped the freshman 15 but got bamboozled with the married 15. Anywho, back to my "runners high" - I started running today, and I was supposed to run for 14 min and walk for 1 min x2. So I would have a total of 28 min running. I was listening to my book (we're not even going to go there - you'll just need to be happy with the knowledge that I listen to books while I read) and thinking okay, I'm not even going to check my time until it gets to a certain point. Well,  I got to that point and I was feeling so good, that I said self, "self, I'm not even going to look right now because let's just see how far I can go" Well friends, I ran 3.3 miles!!! I was SO proud of myself! Some of you are shaking your head at my patheticness (I just made that word up) but I have not run this far since my sophomore/junior year of highschool and we were forced to run because we were a bunch of fat cheerleaders. Hence my body image issues, thank you to a certain coach... But that story deserves its very own post at a later date, once I get out of therapy and work through my "issues".  ANYWAY that's my update - I ran 3.3 miles a week ahead of schedule!! Hopefully this wasn't a one time thing...

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


I love our DVR and I've finally come to terms with our gigantic, obnoxoius television and kind of love it too! I can even make out what's going on without my glasses and that's saying something. I watch a lot of horrible t.v. (don't judge me) I blame it on my parents because I was never allowed to watch MTV or the likes when I was at home. So now I easily get sucked in to shows like Teen Mom, The Hills, The City, oh and any of the Real Housewives ( I know this show is on Bravo). And I love Glee! But let's just talk about some of these shows...

The Hills -Why does Spencer wear a rock around his neck?? He looks like a mountain man, ew. And what can I even say about Heidi? She doesn't even talk the same! How tight did they make her face!?! The drama, oh the drama. Whatever happened to shows like Designing Women, Little House on the Prairie, Saved by the Bell where everyone got along and the biggest issue was Jessie's addiction to caffeine pills - which lets be real, who doesn't need a caffeine pill every now and again, it's the same as drinking a mountain dew. It's okay Jessie, we all get it, we've all been there... But now in 2010 we have Spencer who is so messed up he needs his equally messed up wife to remind him to breathe! "take a breath, take a breath, you're fine, take a breath" And the fight with Heidi's sister! He yells at her --> "You're going to burn for it" - was he serious? Is Heidi seriously staying with him? Is their marriage even really real? Is it all a publicity hoax? Why do I even care?? 

Moving on...

The City - I like Whitney, she appears to be nice and genuine. Did she get a huge break because of who she is and who she knows? Yes - but can you really fault her for that? But oh that Olivia is SO toxic!! I really hope that you don't have an Olivia in your life and if you do you drop her like a hot potato. Even if you like potatoes and you wouldn't really drop it... the real ones, that you eat... But seriously who needs a friend like that? I use the term friend extremely loosely. And I cracked up at Kelly's statement at the end when she said, "do you knew where nice people end up? on welfare." Seriously!? Welcome to NYC people... She needs to move to the south. I'm just sayin'. 

Glee - I am a Gleek! This show makes me want to go to broadway everyday, watch a show, and belt out a tune. None of which are feasibly possible - you do not want to hear this voice, nor do I have the money to support my need to head to broadway everyday and watch a show - but that's a story for another day. Luke had to leave the room he couldn't take the ridiculousness of a bunch of teenagers breaking out into an array of songs about their FEELINGS and EMOTIONS oh my... But I love it - Ryan Murphy is a genius! The mishmash (yeah use that word in a sentence today) of artists, songs, cast, genres are amazing. I want Rachel Berry's voice - it's incredible. And I hope they win regionals! Yes, I know it's not really for real, but please don't ruin it for me... I loved the Madonna episode, and I don't even like Madonna. But I love Sue Sylvester and this is why:
Nobody quits the Cheerios. You either die or I kick you off.
- I haven't had a solid meal since 1987.
- My parents were famous Nazi hunters, so they weren't around a lot.
- You think this hard. I'm passing a gallstone as we speak. That is hard!
- You'll be adding revenge to the long list of things you're no good at, right next to being married, running a     high school glee club and finding a hairstyle that doesn't look like a lesbian.
She's rude and sarcastic and offensive and crass and I find her absolutely hilarious!!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Love my momma!!

Happy Mother's day to mine and the hubs' mommas - we hate that we're not there to celebrate you - but in the words of the hubs - we don't need just one day a year to celebrate you, we celebrate you everyday!!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Important matters of the mind... my mind

- To all five of my readers - you know my sister, she has a bun in the oven, knocked up, wearing her apron high, preggers, on stork watch, etc - you get the picture. ANYWHO, she had her glucose test last week and failed, so she's going for her 3 hour glucose test in the morning. This is where you fast and then get your sugar tested, so say a prayer for her! It is never fun not to be able to eat for 15 hours... pregnant girl needs to eat! Amen.

- I love 19 kids and counting on TLC. The Duggars are the sweetest people ever (I feel like I know them) and all their kids are SO good. Michelle Duggar is like the softest speaking person ever for having 19 kids. Do I think they're absolutely certifiably nuts - a little bit. But they're such good people!

- Speaking of babies - I am on my own tomorrow night with the little babies for the first time in 6 months! Holy small herd of cows am I nervous!! But I know what I'm doing, I'm going to have lots of people around me to help me out and answer all of my questions. Say a prayer for me that all my patients are still alive when I leave them... j/k just a little NICU joke - but seriously, pray for me. For wisdom and smarts. And to stay awake... and that the day nurse is kind to me in the AM... 

- I signed up for a Susan G Komen Race for the Cure NYC - it's September 12 in Central Park. It's only a 5k. I hope that that is an easy run by September (remember I'm running a half marathon in october!). My goal is to raise $500 to be donated. This is near and dear to my heart, as my mom and aunt have both been diagnosed with breast cancer. So, I'm running for them (and because I want to be healthier/get back into my LBD....) but I want to do this because I hope that one day no one has to hear that their mother, sister, daughter, aunt, grandmother have been diagnosed with cancer. But if you're feeling generous (every little bit will help!) you can go to my page here to donate. Thanks!

- Would someone explain the male mind to me please? You see, the hubs told me that I could buy a tv for the bedroom, because we need another tv, because you all know the issues the xbox and I have daily, to which the xbox continues to win these battles. BUT I don't want another tv- I want boots. But if I bought boots - then our marital bliss might reach a new low that no other low has tried to stoop to.. okay thats low - there might just be a few "whys" and "because I wanted them's" and all would be right with marital bliss-edness. The boots would last longer then a tv... and I can wear the boots, I cannot wear the tv!!!! 

Now if you'll all excuse me, I have a load of laundry with my name on it... you can just call me June Cleaver!

And I know most of you are very concerned as to whether or not I am a smartypants and I am sad to inform you that I'm not! Apparently there is a method out there that I am missing in how to tackle this task. The hubs and I answered 18 questions in 10 min, but I was still the 38th person to post! How frustrating! I had already spent $350 at apple in my head. Sad day...